This sickness rages on inside without a sign of subsiding. I take great strides towards freedom and my hate for this evil grows stronger day by day, yet all the stronger evil becomes so I will be kept in its grasp. The turmoil is stronger than ever within me, but despite the pain it causes, it is giving me hope. I have not faced real battle against pornography in a long time and truly faced the damage it has caused to me.
I've known about how the brain can be rewired https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-changes-the-brain, but have never felt it so strongly. It is as if my brain is turning into sludge and I can no longer think quickly and clearly, and my attention span is near zero. It is only with great effort do I succeed in focusing on what I used to enjoy, or getting anything done I need to.
Calling pornography a sickness like I mentioned earlier has more truth to it than I would like to believe. I truly do feel sick and helpless against it overcoming me.
Like a sickness, it causes damage that must be repaired.
Like a sickness, there is no simple fix.
Like a sickness, it takes time to heal.
Like a sickness, I may be overwhelmed.
Like a sickness, I may not be able to heal myself.
Psalm 119:37
Keep my eyes from gazing upon worthless things,
and give me true life according to Your plans.
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