stuck in a pit

I have been thinking about my life and how lost seems to describe most areas of my life. I do not know if I will ever find my way out from the growing mountain of defeat and uncertainty. My mind only wants to escape by delving into pornography and succumbing to her alluring call that promises relief from my troubles.

I know satisfaction will not be found in her cold and empty embrace that will only leave me wanting more where none can be found. Still, a brief sense of fleeting satisfaction may for a time take away the pain. This lie is what drives all addicts to continue to use and abuse their drug of choice, even to the point where it starts to destroy what little they have left. A brief high is of no more use to a man stuck in a pit, as standing on a fallen leaf.  He may feel that something is at least being accomplished, but in the end, he is still stuck in a pit.  I need to stop caring that digging my way out will be a painful arduous process. If I keep looking for a shortcut, or a way to enjoy my time in the pit I will never get out and there will really be nothing better than where I am now.